Sitting back… May 9, 2007
Posted by Simba in : Life Marvels, MBA, Work & Beyond , 5 commentsOk, now, finally I am done with all my coursework and officially signed off except for the graduation bit. I haven’t blogged for a long time and I wont start making excuses. This last Term was busy as usual and I just got busy with academics and interviews. I had finally started getting some good news on the job front when the visa situation became bizarre.
For those of you in it, I am sorry - our timing really sucks! And for others who are not aware - Well, the H1B visas were all taken on the first day of application i.e April 1st. And about 20,000 visas that are reserved for all those who graduate from US Universities, they were taken a few days ago. While many with job offers played their luck with lottery, I stood wondering what would happen to me! It has always been a hard ride for me and I didn’t expect this to be any different. So, all my interviews and almost offers got stalled due to the visa situation. That truly sucks! Basically, though many companies want to hire us international students, they wont be able to due to legal restriction. I have about a year to stay here and make my stay worthwhile. I don’t think it will be any different next year or the year after till the government takes some measures. We all have been signing petitions to voice our concerns and hoping for some miracle. So, till the ah-moment, I guess I should fend for myself.
While I am not too happy to be in this position I have a feeling that things will be ok. I don’t think I would have been excited at something I wouldn’t enjoy doing for a long time. But I feel sad that I wont have a full time job and get into a comfortable life after all; after all this work! Phew! Who said life is easy, ah! Anyways, amongst some of the things I wish - more retailers on campus, more retailers willing to recruit internationals, more efforts from my side (who knew things would turn so dire so soon!) These days I have been doings ups-downs on a daily basis. I can work for non profits or keep looking for firms that will take a chance on me, But I am leaning on entrepreneurship - I plan to start my own small business, of course something to do with retail; either I go bust or make enough money to pay up my loans, only time will say! The next couple of months will be a lot of research and groundwork. Hang in there, I might just spill some beans in a few days 
So, what happens if I go bankrupt? Ouch! I will pack my bags and go home! Now, let’s pray that it won’t be that bad….
Sweet Life… March 18, 2007
Posted by Simba in : Life Marvels, Duke, Frivolous Me , 7 commentsI was just reading a goo’ ol’ pal’s blog and realized that I have done so many things in the recent past that I haven’t blogged about…so, maybe the time is just right
I have caught up on some really cool movies over the last few months - Fire, Water, Salam Bombay - Half way thro, Hotel Rwanda, The last King of Scotland and Munich! In the next few weeks, I am planning on watching Syriana, Crash, An Inconvenient Truth, The Contender, Namesake etc. Many of these movies are screened as a part of Ethics Institute. I am surely looking forward to these! I have watched Crash before - it is awesome! Other casual, what I would call ‘popcorn-movies’, that I have watched recently are Salam-E-Ishq, 300, and Zodiac. Phew, never in my life have I been sucha movie buff! Well, for now, movies seem to be substituting my reading… I guess, it is a ok replacement for entertainment.
Haven’t had much time to read books after I started school in January. Currently I am onto Shataram, R.K. Narayan’s biography, One of Sudha Murthy’s book and No God but God. It is an eclectic collection I must say, but each of them have their own inter-woven reasons. I am extending some of these as they stir something really deep within… well, now that’s one helluva good excuse! Recently I attended Eve Ensler’s Vagina Monologues - V-Day: Until the Violence Stops. It was my first time and I was really amazed. I had expected a funny play but was pleasantly surprised by a very bold and empowering play! I must say, it is surely a great way to share knowledge about the trauma inflicted on women & empower people to act! I wish I had known about the organizers - SWOOP earlier. I would have loved to work with them during the time I was here at Durham!
Recently, I was at the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour who performed at Duke. Absolutely brilliant! These middle-eastern guys were amazingly funny and refreshing! Anyone who is new to comedy shows… take my word, go & watch them - they release some of those endomorphins or something like that which makes you feel a zillion times better! 
And Russell Peters.. I am a big fan of him! On a serious note though, we had Paul Rusesabagina (yes, the real man from Hotel Rwanda!) as a guest speaker at Duke. We had a house-full of audience to see him. Though I was amazed at what he had done at his time, it was kinda perplexing how he did not deliver such a strong speech. Understood, he wasn’t a speaker but he basically narrated his story - I would liked to see more to the man! Things which inspired him to stand by his people and his answers fell short when he was questioned about what he was doing currently to some of the similar problems of genocide. But I was in awe of his presence & simplicity!
And I just got back from LA & Vegas. It was great fun! I was just counting & I have already seen about 10-12 places in US in less than 2 years, quite an accomplishment! LOL! I was there to attend a career fair which showcased some retail careers! Fingers crossed! I am still interviewing and trying to wriggle my way into something I truly like… another 2 months before I graduate. Hope I have something to fall upon by the time I graduate! And ahoy, finally… after undue stress & hopelessly fretting about it, my grades have steadily climbed over the last few terms.. this Term I aced the chart with a straight 4.0! Whoopie! And a professor’s mail calling me “Outstanding” was like the icing on the perfect cake! Now, that I am slowly gearing up… I am graduating - did I ever tell you, how unfair life is!!??
Thats all for now. My last day of the last break before I graduate. School starts on Monday and back to classes, assignments, resumes & interviews. Aloha, here I come…
Where am I heading?! November 2, 2006
Posted by Simba in : Life Marvels, Frivolous Me , 12 commentsI know it has been a while since I wrote something significant. So, today, I thought I should stop by my blog and see what I can do with it. It is amazing how things take priority in life. Long ago, I would ‘live’ on this blog constantly thinking about ’stuff’ I can throw in here & increase the counter hits. But now, I guess I am almost on the verge of giving up writing! Huh?! Nah, but you will definitely see me getting more lazy around these parts
I have re-started doing my job search, except that it is coming with half the interest and quarter the effort compared to last year. No, I still need a job, now lets not have any doubt about that one! I was talking to a good friend of mine a couple of weeks back and he asked “what is your alternate arrangement if you don’t get a job?” Phew, someone asking me sucha a direct question right on my face is something I still am not used to! So, my only answer was - Well, I need to get a job & there is no other alternative! Of course, it is challenging and I am not being very focussed at this point. I just had an interview yesterday which went ok but there are time when things just don’t feel right.. I still haven’t heard from them but well, I guess I have a gut about it!
But when I start thinking about the job scenario & some of the challenges, I am spooked about the amount of work ahead of me with the time running out. Seriously though, once I look back and see the quantum of things I have achieved over the last couple of years to get to where I am, I am not worried about the coming months. I know, it will be ok and I might actually survive. But, there is this deep nagging feeling that keeps reminding me of the true reason why I came so far and why I have worked so hard - Well, of course a good job with a good pay would do me a world of good as I don’t even remember the last time I stepped into a huge store to exhaust my pay chek - but I did have a good job with a good pay! My MBA was a reason to get a hold on my life, achieve my dreams, work with some of the best minds, challenge myself everyday and stress out every hour… but more to do something that I really really want!
So, that obviously takes me to the next question - what do I want to do? There was a time, not so long back, when I would keep wondering about how people would get brilliant ideas to start companies. I failed to see any gaps in the existing scenario and didn’t think I had it in me either to venture that way or be innovative! I always wanted to do something but never knew ‘what’. And I would just be amazed at things people achieve but I guess it is all one big learning experience - Life - It teaches you some of the best lessons! At this point, I have thought about so many things that I can do here, or back home in India,or internationally in many countries - I am constantly wondering how things would be different with this product or that service. I really want to do many of these things and not for the fame (if there is any!) or for being ‘cool’, but for the challenge associated with them.
Yeah, I know it is a great thinking but well, who will repay my loan in that context. As a small entrepreneur I really cant expect mega earnings for at least couple of years i.e ‘at-LEAST’! So, may be like the rest of the herd I should be a little more serious about job hunt and get a decent job which can pay me decent enough for me to pay off a decent amount of debt! But at the same time, I wish I could be involved with a non-profit because that kind of work fascinates me but, the inner knock comes through - How will I repay the loan and Who will process my work visa? See these are the some of the questions which haunt me through harrowed hallways and upsets me so many hours in a day & so many days in a month! So, for time being I want to be pratical & pragmatic - Go ‘for-profit’ - Fashion Retail interests me a lot but I need some one to get me in! Consulting is another great profession to be in and though the travel would get to me, I could be a good consultant but hello, who is calling me for an interview? Finance major sounds cool too but where do I start..Should I be picky about the industry or function? Wow - I think more education just makes life more complicated 
I think I am done with nagging for today and for a week from now, so take a breather! Get some hot chai - You are not alone. Each of us deal with some kind of stress, either taken upon voluntarily or bestowed upon!
Mumbai rules August 3, 2006
Posted by Simba in : Life Marvels, Frivolous Me , 9 comments“Where is he from?” - asks the driver
“New Zealand” - says Prabhakar
“New Zealand?”
“Yes. New Zealand. In Europe”
.. blah blah blah…
“And make sure he doesnt learn any bad words. Don’t teach him any swearing. There are plenty of arseholes and bastards around who will teach him the wrong sisterfucking words. Keep him away from motherfuckers like that.” - driver retorts.
Tears welled up as I bursted out in laughter. This incident from the book ‘Shantaram’ so beautifully encaptures the essence of everyday happennings back home. This conversation happens between the bus driver of one of those Maharastra State Board buses, referring to the ‘gora’ on board who is the author himself & the Bombay guide who is showing the ‘gora’ around! I have been reading this book for a while which brings home, so many so sweet memories of Bombay, Mumbai… it feels so nice as the author describes the city as if it is something that has a life of its own. He says something like - “If there were any other place like Mumbai with all Americans, or all Australians or all Europeans so cramped up in sucha small place… there would have been so much more violence and hatred.. but not here, not in Mumbai, not in India!”. LOL, reading so much about the place I love, I almost dont want the book to end.. I want to go on with it for a long time! Reading this book brings home so many feelings about the city, the people, the life! I usually dont mush around too much on my blog but what the heck! I fell in love with Mumbai the minute I landed there and have always felt one with it ever since, the pulse of the place, the pace of life there and other zillion things..Oh, miss the Amchi Mumbai!
I was born in Bangalore and spent a majority of my childhood & adult life there but never got to love the city not as much as I would have liked to, didnt get it under my skin… didnt speak to it as I would have liked to, everyday as I rode back home hiding my face, my feelings & much of myself in the head-gear (the ugly looking helmet!) in the musty, over-crowded traffic, always dreaming of a better life and better days. Not that I was unhappy but I didn’t think I belonged to the city, it didn’t own me! As the flight took off from Bangalore, I still remember the excitement I felt. I was thrilled to start off something afresh, not everything turned out the way I wanted but right from day one, Mumbai was my home. Being so away from the main city, staying almost on the outskirts, I could feel the verve of the city, its busy life, the thin heartline connecting so many people, bringing so many religions & castes & languages so closer to one another. I love it when I woke up to hear the noisy traffic outside, something stirred inside which used to make me feel so alive. The people, the language…everything about the city was fascinating.
Never having had the need to travel by public transport, I started learning the tricks of traveling on the Mumbai buses & local trains. It was an amazing discovery each time, just to see how fast you could get from one place to another. I have known a lot of people who took the train daily and weren’t crazy about it! But I loved the local train… as I used to go into the city for multiple B-School receptions, talks, fairs, conferences, interviews et al, I actually looked forward to such train time. It was amusing to see the city go on & on & on while there was an almost inner life to the trains themselves. It was a time for me to get lost into the world of my own thoughts. Dreams I spun a many, worked up many a goals as I sat crammed on those wooden seats…bearing the sights, smells & sounds of everyone around me. But I liked it… I, infact, enjoyed it! Sometimes, I would let my mind blank & observe the people around me… it was so fascinating! So many things were said.. so many things were left unsaid, all smiles, laughter, anger, curses.. all of them vibrated through the very compartment simultaneously…the old women haggling over small items and trying on some designer head bands, the sellers of cheap fake jewellery trying to make a quick buck, the young girls keenly observing the dressing, walking & talking style of the executive women, a bunch of giggling girls constantly talking about boys, younger women stuck to their cellphones either incessantly arguing with their male counterparts or complaining about some men at work, some lost souls…lost in their i-pods & cd-players, women busy chopping veggies to take back home & cook, girls immersed in their books while they hang on to the bars with their other hands, group of women chanting their bajans & devotional songs on their way back home from a busy day at work… oh my god, it was like a movie shot at one stroke… no cuts, no edits, no retakes.. it was beautiful to watch a live movie! No wonder I stayed glued to my laptop watching NDTV & Times for latest news & photos when I got to know of the train bombings! 
Phew, now I am almost home sick… If ever I want to live in one particular place, it might just be Mumbai! But will I ever do it, will I ever make that decision or will life just go on without forever deciding where I want to rest & lay back? Who knows? But I really don’t think it is that important now but reading about places, people, experiences you have seen, met and felt kinda walks you down the trodden memory lane…
Edit >> Check out http://www.shantaram.com
Life Update July 13, 2006
Posted by Simba in : Life Marvels, Work & Beyond, Frivolous Me , 9 commentsWhen posts on a blog become less frequent, then it’s not a blog update, rather it’s a life update. The last month has almost been one helluva roller coaster ride. I wish I never ever go through such a upheaval again. Never ever. People closer to me have gone far away and those further away have come closer. Its weird when trouble comes, it really pours!
We always hear about people dying and people coming down with incurable diseases. What if you come to know that sadly, now, its your turn to be real sick! I have been worried, scared and almost dead thinking about what I might have contacted. It has been a journey with many anxious nights and worrisome days. I am still far away from knowing what is wrong but slowly & painfully I will get there. I have been so mad at God for a long time, most probably the most bitter amongst all his men. Never had I made my peace with Him. But with so many things going out of sync, there is only Him to turn to! It’s so surprising that we so easily forget to thank Him for the blessings but once we are a wreck, we miss him so dearly.
And of course, PaGaLGirL will be closed soon. Maybe it’s the way it is meant to be! My first venture fails horribly but it has been a learning experience. Building a community is definitely not my forte and maybe venturing into unknown at a wrong time was not sucha great idea. Too many bad mouthings & words have been flung into thin air which has reduced wonderful relationships and friendships to almost nothing. It is too sad things had to turn so bitter. Have been overwhelmed by the support I got from the entire girl community! Its truly awesome! But now, I have almost run out of things I would have wanted to say!
Work front has been ok. Too much work and too less time. There goes weekends & free evenings. I have to wind up a lot of stuff, the biggest problem being I need to figure out everything. The project I am handling is probably the most undefined of the lot. Either they presumed that I am too smart to figure it out or they didnt have the faintest idea why they hired me! Phew! I will let you know how that will go..rather, how it will all end! Final offer tho bhool jao! 
Have a couple of interesting things coming up and will definitely post about them. I have made some very good friends in my internship circle and we all do have a lot of fun once we get out of work. Tired. Will pen a better post later. So exhausted!!
Work and beyond… June 14, 2006
Posted by Simba in : Life Marvels, Work & Beyond , 8 commentsI know I haven’t written for a while. The last few days, my life has been almost a haze which I cannot describe. Hope God up there will bestow the strength in me to make the right decision and move on. I have always wondered why life throws up strange things at different stages of life, maybe its all a game.. something you will always be working on & trying to overcome. Its been almost a battle with myself to come in terms with how I have changed over the last one year! I have even lost sense of what kind of a person I am, things I believe in, priniciples I would follow and people I would die for! Now, I am taking some time off to figure out all that and more, it feels weird.. its almost like teaching the kid within me the first few steps. I have always seen life as a big furry fun ball but now, I understand how serious life can be.. It teaches you things in some of the hardest challenges in life. I am facing probably my hardest challenge.. lets see where I go from here….
If you are thinking that all this has got to do with my MBA & my job… you are so wrong! No, I dont have any regrets for coming sucha long way to study and get a life. Life, I did get.. & more. After the GATE, I was pretty much moving stuff & shifting which took a lot of time. I started my first job in Corporate America and think I am doing ok, just dont ask me what I am doing… becos I dont know! I need to figure out something that has gone wrong and I dont have the slightest clue where to start. So, maybe I will restrain from the normal advice part *wink* We had an awesome Orientation Week for all the incoming interns and it was so fun. I keep thinking that some day I will get so old that I will stop enjoying all these get-togethers & celebrations.. but dont think, I am getting any closer to that one at least! There was a time when I was the youngest of the whole lot.. I am not the oldest, not yet..but sure getting there! Its been an awesome journey so far and I know, I have much farther to go… The office is a beautiful place to work in overlooking a beautiful countryside. My fellow interns are so much fun and its great hangin around with them. We are planning to get somewhere this weekend.. there are too many things around this place and boy, summer is here! The last weekend was an absolute bliss, doing the best I normally do.. lazing around! Work slowly will start picking up in full gear & you will some whines & nags. You are warned! LOL! I am out for now.. More laterz.
Aloha… May 29, 2006
Posted by Simba in : Life Marvels, Travel Bug , 4 commentsI know I havent blogged in a while but these are not the best days of my life and I am trying my best to keep my sanity. I wonder why things should always be black or white, why dont people understand that the grey areas are the ones which give us the hardest time. I hate it when people talk in riddles making themselves look highly intellectual and all knowing…No, I dont intend to be like that! So, I will let that feeling pass and continue my normal blogging.
I came back from GATE last Monday and though I wanted to share so much, I just havent been able to! I was completely sleep deprived on the flight & later, I was so jet lagged and didnt sleep for almost 4 days. After that, I slept so much in order to catch up and it just got all weird. Anyways, almost a week after my return, I am slowly feeling ok. A small review of my tour… Shanghai was the first stop and I realized what a big barrier language is! English will take you nowhere and it is so hard to tell them! And you can guess the time I had trying to get some vegetarian food. The first day, I almost had veg food.. except the last spoon dished out something I hadnt seen in my whole life! Phew! Throughout the tour, something that always amazed me was how understanding people were in any part of the world.. we all may behave differently and talk different languages but there is this common bond between all of us.. something that reaches out to help others! And out there, I had the best Italian icecream, something that makes me grin even now! Yum! We visited 2 companies and I really wished we had gone to visit the Great Wall! The hotel was probably the best during our entire visit. 3 or so days there, we moved to Hong Kong. I had heard so much about foot massages in these places that I almost endangered my dear life in trying to get one! It was scary and let me not write about it and show off my stupidity! Hmmmph!
Hong Kong - I didnt like the city at all, maybe I found myself in the wrong places as I found it really dirty & unclean. And in the middle of it, we also managed to have some decent desi food .. Samosas for lunch!? I had never seen that but who cares.. I cleaned up my plate! The Victoria peak and the Giant Buddha are definitely the must sees. Travelling in the world’s steepest cable car, well, that adds to the fun. We tried so hard to make it to the huge amusement park, Ocean Park but missed it due to a lil bad timing. Ah, next time! I was super impressed by the DHL Super Hub company visit. The night junk cruise, sailin by the Victoria Harbour with the entire city lit up was a great experience.. the much talked about laser show to attract the tourists was a complete let down! We had plenty of free time in Hong Kong and it sure did me a world of good. But during all these days, I didnt feel tired one single day but the minute I got back, it hit me real hard.
I almost didnt want to get to Japan becos it was the last leg of the journey but boy, I fell in love with Tokyo. And I thought NY was a great place.. it still is but Tokyo beats it right, left & centre. I have always considered more homely at Mumbai than in Bangalore maybe becos how active the city is.. Tokyo is exactly that and much more! And the women are the hippest in the world. Trust me. Take my word for that! And also the city is so densely populated that any place you go, you just see so many people.. so many just walkin around all the time, immaterial of the hour of the day. I wanted to learn a foreign language next year and was thinking about Arabic.. ok, keep your grunts to yourself… but now, Japanese seems too good. I would love to work in this city for a while if I ever get a chance. Traditional Japanese meal didnt suit me just fine as it might just be a tad too bland for the Indian within! And seeing the stuff that is available on display .. it just shows how hard it is to impress these guys. They are definitely the most demanding and guess, thats why you get some amazing stuff! Desserts etc on display .. they are just picture perfect.. Getting veg food was a little simpler here, thanks to too much modernization! Visiting Toyota was the biggest fascination for me.. with an entire assembly line with robots! Wow! Then we left to Kyoto…
The last place was kinda a dampener in the whole trip.. there was nothing much to explore and also the feeling that the trip was coming to an end was on everyone’s mind. And almost 15 days after we had left, having some of the best times of our life.. we were ready to come back home and start our lives again! Before I left on this GATE, someone had commented.. Oh, this is sucha expensive thing, a complete waste of money.. LOL, how wrong that person was! As the Chinese proverb goes - “Walking ten thousand miles of world is better than reading ten thousand scrolls of books.” More later…
No heading January 24, 2004
Posted by Simba in : Life Marvels , add a commentHey things have been ok.. guess thats y i havent penned on my blog!!! yesterday was one of those real feel good days.. no special reason…:):).. but have had sometime for myself lately.. doing stuff i love… reading… reading lots… reading C&H… playing music… working out well… watching movies… waking up late… having days with nothing planned… Life is So Simple!!
I am 80% done with my essays…:):)…first draft must be through in a day or two…:):)… then starts editing… a week for that & bingo.. send it across!!! Okie dokie… gtg now.. Byeeeeeeeeeeee